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S2, E40: Soul Sisters Book Club Discussion

Keturah Kendrick chats with The Soul Sisters Book Club about No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone. Based in Tennessee, the group discusses how they identified with Keturah’s observations about how marriage is dangled in front of single women like a carrot and the condescension that results when you are a single woman who doesn’t really care about that carrot. Several members share their own stories of not desiring marriage and having their words questioned, their values judged. Because of this, the group discusses in depth how often black women, in particular, aren’t believed. Whether it is about their own condition or even their pain, there is a persistent denial that the black woman herself is telling the truth about her existence. The club also asks Keturah questions about being an atheist and probe her for greater detail about living abroad. One member talks about defending her own nonbelief to a stranger in the grocery store and how this, too, is another aspect of black womanhood that is not believed as one’s truth. There is discussion of how many women around the world don’t know their own worth and Keturah shares anecdotes of women she’s met in her travels who succumb to the message that they are either not enough or too much. The women also probe Keturah about the candor in her essays about living in Rwanda and China. From loneliness to western privilege to still having to navigate white foolishness, Keturah goes into greater depth about what the expat life is like for single, black women abroad. Moderated by performance artist, speaker and reader, Dr. Kimberly Chandler, the women discuss the depth of the book’s content with laughter and lightness. “I love that this book gives you the sense that whatever you feel in your heart is okay,” a soul sister says. “And the older I get, the more that is me.”

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Ep 19: Candace Studied Her Way Out of Religious Belief

Author of The Ebony Exodus Project: Why Some Black Women Are Walking Out on Religion – And Others Should Too, Candace Gorham describes her younger self as much more “deep into religion” than the average child. She actively involved herself in both the Jehovah’s Witness and the Methodist church. On this episode, she shares her journey from becoming an ordained minister while she was barely out of her teens to trading in religious belief for secular humanism. After a young adulthood spent worshipping god and ministering to his flock, she began to question common precepts in the Christian faith. After examining the biblical text more in depth and exposing herself to others outside of it, Candace began her slow, yet steady progression to atheism. It was this journey to non-belief that inspired her to compile the stories of other black women like her in The Ebony Exodus Project. Once she finally accepted that she could no longer honestly claim belief in a supernatural power, she sought out other women from her cultural background who felt as she did. What she discovered was a common theme in their journey to non-belief: examining the biblical text more critically and coming to the logical conclusion that the Christian construct of god was more fallacy than truth. When she thinks about the gift of embracing humanism, Candace expresses gratitude for letting go of the anxiety she felt as a devout Christian. “I no longer have fear of hell or the god who might send me there,” she says. “I feel like it freed me from constantly thinking about all the ways I could put my very soul at risk.”

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Ep 11: Gabrielle, An Atheist in the Bible Belt South

A retired member of the military, Gabrielle Tolliver began questioning what she was taught in Sunday school early into her childhood. While the adults in her family were not frequent attenders of church, they did require the children go to service as often as possible. When Gabrielle challenged the inconsistencies and cruelties taught in Sunday School lessons, she was chided with: “You are just too young to understand.” In this episode, she talks about being a nonbeliever in North Carolina, where church and god are as deeply woven into the culture as speaking to strangers and asking after a casual acquaintance’s Mama. From missionaries knocking on her door offering her salvation through Christ to grocery store clerks wishing her God’s blessings, Gabrielle often has to “out” herself as an atheist even when she’d rather just sit at home and watch television with her wife or buy broccoli at the supermarket for that night’s dinner. Gabrielle dismisses the suggestion that because she does not believe in a supernatural deity, she does not have a solid moral code. She finds it insulting to imply a person needs some force outside themselves to influence their decision to be a decent human being. “I don’t need a sky pappy to tell me when I’ve wronged another person or harmed a defenseless animal,” Gabrielle explains. “I don’t need the god gap to fill in the blanks about the world for me.”

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