Home » Uncategorized » Page 2

Category: Uncategorized

S2, E31: Keturah Got Some Shit She Need To Say

Popular guest from Season 1, Tracy Adams, returns to talk to Keturah about her new book, No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone. Having known Keturah as a friend and blogger for a decade, Tracy wanted to learn about why Keturah chose to document some of their personal conversations and topics she’s written about many times on her blog, Yet Another Single Gal, in this new collection of essays. Keturah explains that two years spent in Africa and the death of musical icon, Prince, were pivotal moments that compelled her to commit to sharing her insights about being a woman whose lifestyle choices center her needs and the pushback she and other Black women endure when they make such choices. Keturah talks about how living abroad has impacted the way she looks at patriarchy and whiteness. She explains that many women she has encountered surrender to both. In her book she tells their stories as well as those whose very lives challenge both systems with bold defiance. When asked if readers of No Thanks will be rewarded with a detailed instruction of how to get free, Keturah responds with her trademark authenticity and wit. “I don’t want women to pick up this book because they watched every episode of Iyanla’s Fix My Life and their life is not yet fixed.” Keturah laughs as she asserts: “You don’t need me or Iyanla to fix your life. You already know how to do it. You just may not be talking with yourself enough. But, you already know what does and does not need fixing. You also know why you ain’t fixing it…yet.”

Listen below and then subscribe to the show wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

S2, E30: Jude-Laure Unearths The Truth

Originally from Haiti, Jude-Laure Denis moved to the United States at the age of seven largely because her grandmother feared that a girlchild with such a strong sense of self, will to learn and determination to fight would wither away in their home country. In this episode, she talks about how in addition to the gift of protective elders, her family also left her the legacy of silence. They did not talk about the generations of abuse and secrets that her grandmother could not protect Jude from. She talks about how her life as an adult has been spent trying to unravel the lies she learned to tell as a result of being raised in a family where truth was rarely spoken. Jude explains how she has had to find blueprints for how to find her truth. One powerful blueprint was her life partner, Carol Francis, who challenged Jude to become her best self. Jude also talks about how Beyonce’s Homecoming performance helped her deal with the disenchantment she felt as a social justice activist who worked with organizations that didn’t value racial justice as much as they proclaimed. She speaks of how much she has come to appreciate this generation’s embracing of themselves and black women, particularly, being a lot more intuitive to when they are being asked to sacrifice themselves and pushing back against such oppression. She highlights this freedom to live out loud with an anecdote about her niece who questioned her teacher’s version of The Civil Rights Movement. “She was barely in first grade,” Jude marvels. “And was able to articulate quite clearly why the teacher was selling her bullshit. I don’t remember being that aware at such a young age.”

Listen below and subscribe to the show wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

S2, E29: Gail Chose Herself Over Her Mother

48-year old accountant Gail Newton Howell grew up parenting her mother. With no other children besides her daughter and no supportive spouse, Gail’s mother leaned on her daughter in ways that made it impossible for her to enjoy a carefree childhood. In this episode, Gail outlines her road to ending contact with her mother. She describes a childhood spent enmeshed in an unhealthy relationship with her mother. From enduring her excessive drinking to trying to understand why she treated her with such harshness, Gail learned early on that she had to protect her heart from her mother while protecting her mother from adult responsibilities. Gail describes her first attempt to extricate herself from the toxicity of her and her mother’s relationship. While still a teenager, she left her mother’s house and moved down South to live with relatives. This attempt was not successful as her mother followed her. As Gail matured and sought out therapy, she set up more concrete boundaries. Eventually, in her late 30s Gail’s mother disregarded her in such a cavalier way, Gail decided to completely sever their relationship. In addition to sharing her personal experience, Gail talks about how societal elevation of motherhood contributes to adult children feeling guilty about wanting to sever ties with mothers even when those mothers treat them with disdain. She admonishes anyone who is dealing with an abusive parent to choose themselves. “No one has the right to make your life miserable,” Gail insists. “The only regret I have about ending communication with my mother is how long I waited to do it. I could have felt this sense of freedom much sooner had I not dealt with her foolishness for as long as I did.”

Listen below and subscribe to the show wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

S2, E28: Wendi is Protective of Her Community

Activist, storyteller and proud preserver of Black Southern culture, Wendi Moore-O’Neal honors the legacy left by her parents – both engaged participants in the Civil Rights Movement and dedicated creators of art and culture. In this episode, Wendi shares how her experience as a community organizer and artist impacted how she dealt with rebuilding a battered New Orleans after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. She is honest about the blockades to bring back residents who were misplaced after the storm, citing that even she, a college educated professional organizer had trouble finding work that paid her enough money to survive and also allowed her the freedom to rebuild New Orleans the way she and its generations of residents needed it to be rebuilt. Wendi also talks about the mismanagement of financial resources that contributed to many black New Orleanians never being able to return home and the strategic way in which governmental entities sent the message that Black culture did not possess the skill set to properly remake a city that had been broken. Wendi’s honesty continues as she shares how “new” New Orleanians contribute to the city’s rebranding in ways that make her uncomfortable. She ultimately addresses this discomfort in the way she knows best: through the creation of art. She regularly hosts get togethers where marginalized New Orleanians sing together and has produced a film, This Little Light. The film tells the story of how the blockade to progress in New Orleans impacted her personally when she was fired from an organization because she married her wife. As Wendi explores what it will take for New Orleans to be free of what blocks it from the kind of progress she would like to see, she continues her pattern of unabashed honesty. “It won’t be free for the same reason none of us are free. Even in 2019, New Orleans, like many places around the world, is based on a plantation economy.” Wendi explains how it is a city built on the backs of the working class. “This is how capitalism works; all of the wealth is gained on the labor of working people.”

*Shortly after recording this episode, Wendi’s father, John O’Neal, passed away. We offer her and the entire Black South our condolences as he was an icon and culture bearer in not only the Freedom Movement of the 1960s, but in the Black Southern Arts Movement as well.

S2, E27: Dr. Kaye is Passionate and Honest About Her Mission

Host of the popular Baltimore radio show, Today with Dr. Kaye, Karsonya Wise Whitehead is an accomplished scholar, author, activist and speaker. She has had many missions in the course of her career: street activist, advocate for public education and prolific writer for black mothers who are trying to raise healthy black children in America. In this episode, she talks about making the choice to serve her mission based on wherever she was in her life at the time. She explains that a challenge from a listener of her radio show sparked her to examine how she could use herself and her show to bring the racial disparities in Baltimore to the forefront of its residents’ awareness. As a university professor and speaker, Dr. Kaye shares how she has come to reclaim her time and energy. She rejects the expectation that black women, in general, and black women scholars, in particular, should make it their mission to educate white people on white supremacy. Dr. Kaye candidly expresses her disinterest in playing mammy to white America as it still struggles to figure out how to unpack its privilege. When asked about being a free black woman, she provides a nuanced answer that speaks to the complexities of being nonwhite and nonmale in today’s world. She notes freedom is a process and not a goal that one is even consciously seeking most times. “Part of what freedom looks like for me,” Karsonya says, “is being able to have difficult conversations with myself and forgiving myself when I fall short. It is allowing myself not to be perfect.”

Listen below and then subscribe to the show wherever you enjoy your favorite podcasts.

S2, E26: Sister Raie Resists Rigid Relationships

A native of New York City and current resident of New Orleans, Sister Raie is one of those 21st century women whose answer to “Who are you?” is wonderfully layered. An international singer and songwriter, she is an advocate for mental health in the black community and the sexual and romantic exploration of women. An enthusiastic arts educator, she is also the founder of In My Words, a project that mentors girls of color who show a passion for expressing themselves through the arts. In this episode, Sister Raie shares her insights on what it means to be in a romantic relationship that brings her the most peace. She has had conversations with partners about not walking away from a sexual relationship with someone else when she is on the road for long stretches of time because she is unwilling to deny herself intimacy. Because rigid monogamy feels counterintuitive in those situations, Raie is honest about the communication and candor necessary in order to maintain a semi-open relationship that gives her and her partner what they need. She also delves into how many friends she’s talked to over the years who are afraid to act on their sexuality – whether it is trying open relationships or simply pleasuring themselves – and how this timidity is their way of saying, “There is not enough space in my life to fully be me.” A digression into the topic of the sex life of a fictional character on a critically acclaimed television show also leads Sister Raie to challenge people’s reaction to the mythical, oft-demonized “hoe” archetype. Sister Raie also shares one of the reasons why she has been able to embrace her entire sexual self as she’s grown into womanhood. “I have let go of the quest for the perfect body in order to enjoy my sexuality.” Sister Raie used to have a rigid view on how her breasts should lay and how her butt should look. “Young Sister Raie saw her body through the eyes of the lover who was looking at her naked.” she says. “Sister Raie now sees her body as her own. I am just it.”

S2, E23: Yaba is a Professional Black Girl

Of Ghanaian heritage, but born and raised in New Orleans, Louisiana, Dr. Yaba Blay has devoted her scholarship to the nuances inherent in women of the African diaspora claiming their freedom. She explains how the concept of her popular web series, Professional Black Girl, grew out of her intentional choice to explore beauty politics and how Black women engage with their bodies as a result of it. Originally intended to be a fun documentary about her and her sistafriends’ obsession with a large beauty supply store in North Carolina, Professional Black Girl now has become a series of videos of Black women sharing how committed they are to their grooming process and celebrating the aspects of beautifying one’s self that are exclusive to Black girl culture. Yaba intends the series to be a celebration of Black women’s beauty and fashion choices, regardless of what those choices are. As the series goes into its second season, Yaba reflects on how simply creating and producing Professional Black Girl has helped her unchain herself from the notion of what it means to be “professional.” Like many Black women with careers in academia, she once committed herself to sounding and looking like what white supremacy decided was “professional.” She accepted positions at universities that were overwhelmingly white and acted accordingly. Now, with PBG reflecting her love of black girlness, she has no interest in the performance of whiteness that passes for professionalism. She has become unapologetic in choosing to live in only black ass cities and spend her time doing black ass things. “Blackness is at the forefront of my identity,” Yaba says. “There is no place where I can thrive if my love for my people and my culture are not fed.”

 

Bonus: Donna, the Global Citizen, is Back!

On episode 6, Donnalee Donaldson shared her journey to global citizenship, which started when she left Jamaica at sixteen and headed to the United States. She eventually found her way to Rwanda in East Africa. On this episode, she returns to share her adventures traveling to over twenty African nations in the five years she has called Kigali, Rwanda home. From her deeply spiritual backpacking trip across Ethiopia to partying in Uganda to reveling in the traces of Jamaica she found in Ghana, Donna speaks passionately about all that Africa has to offer the traveler who is open to experiences beyond safari. She also debunks common myths about the continent, including one prevalent among black travelers who romanticize the motherland.  Committed to highlighting the excellence overflowing in many African nations, Donna hosts the podcast, Diaspora Diaries, which highlights innovators, influencers and entrepreneurs who call Africa home.

Listen below and then subscribe wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

Bonus: Doreen, the Childfree African, is Back!

On episode 2, Doreen Yomoah shared her insights about being an African woman who has chosen not to have children. She also shared stories of how rejecting motherhood was just one way of rejecting patriarchal expectations that are placed on the shoulders of African women. Returning for a deeper dive into the childfree-by-choice life, she uses this episode to explain why she believes more African women are not vocal about not wanting children. She also further connects the assumption that women are just natural caregivers to socialization by explaining how her day job involves researching these assumptions about gender and what it biologically predetermines. She talks about how most people do not notice the intense pronatalist propaganda in their communities because they see the adulthood = parenthood narrative as just the default. A discussion about Michelle Obama’s wildly successful memoir also sparks an analysis of how attached many cultures are to the expectation that women do the heavy lifting of parenting. “Aside from the stigma of if you are a woman, you must have a child, we need to address the other stigma of if you are a man, you are just supposed to be the breadwinner and taking care of children is not your role,” Doreen says. “Both narratives are different sides of the same coin.”

Doreen has great insights and is always a wonderful guest. If this episode is still not enough for you, check out her blog, The Childfree African and her podcast, We Can’t Keep Quiet.

Ep 20: Keturah, In Her Own Words

In this final episode of season one, Keturah Kendrick explains why she started Unchained. Unbothered. Detailing life-long experiences, she shares how it has always been her goal not to be suffocated. Keturah gives examples of how often black women are suffocated by assumptions, expectations and hidden agendas that are touted to them as in their best interest. In addition to her own experiences, she talks about hearing the stories of other women as she’s traveled the world. Because of patterns she has seen in these stories, she began conceptualizing a show that featured women who fought against their own suffocation. Women who claimed themselves the captains of their own ships as they steered confidently from the helm. “I no longer feel ashamed for believing I am enough for me,” Keturah states. “My life matters more to me than anyone else’s. And it will be my voice I heed when I make decisions regarding that life.”

Listen below and then subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.