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S2, E34: Phoenix Stopped Caring and Started Creating

31-year-old Phoenix Williams dropped out of college seven years ago to follow her dream of becoming a fulltime author. Having now published many books and established a platform as a speaker and lecturer, she has no regrets. On this episode, she talks about giving herself permission to live her truth. She writes for black women who are still stuck in what they “should” do or “should” be, hoping that the characters she creates will give these women the courage to stop caring about all the “shoulds.” Readers of her erotica often comment on how the stories helped them embrace their sexuality and be honest with their partners about what they wanted. Getting her readers to be more honest with themselves is part of Phoenix’s mission. In one of her most popular series, she makes sure there is at least one character who is going to therapy and is supported by friends and family in their decision to do so. She wants to destigmatize seeking out mental health services in the black community. She also wants her characters to get her readers to be more honest with the people they love. “I am living my best life right now,” Phoenix laughs. “But sometimes you need help to live your best life. You need to actually be honest with the people you love, too.” Since many read to see themselves in the stories that authors tell, Phoenix has been intentional in showing her loyal followers Black women who are being authentic and bold. Characters who are connected to people and resources who will help them be the best versions of themselves. It is Phoenix’s wish that her readers model their example.

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S2, E26: Sister Raie Resists Rigid Relationships

A native of New York City and current resident of New Orleans, Sister Raie is one of those 21st century women whose answer to “Who are you?” is wonderfully layered. An international singer and songwriter, she is an advocate for mental health in the black community and the sexual and romantic exploration of women. An enthusiastic arts educator, she is also the founder of In My Words, a project that mentors girls of color who show a passion for expressing themselves through the arts. In this episode, Sister Raie shares her insights on what it means to be in a romantic relationship that brings her the most peace. She has had conversations with partners about not walking away from a sexual relationship with someone else when she is on the road for long stretches of time because she is unwilling to deny herself intimacy. Because rigid monogamy feels counterintuitive in those situations, Raie is honest about the communication and candor necessary in order to maintain a semi-open relationship that gives her and her partner what they need. She also delves into how many friends she’s talked to over the years who are afraid to act on their sexuality – whether it is trying open relationships or simply pleasuring themselves – and how this timidity is their way of saying, “There is not enough space in my life to fully be me.” A digression into the topic of the sex life of a fictional character on a critically acclaimed television show also leads Sister Raie to challenge people’s reaction to the mythical, oft-demonized “hoe” archetype. Sister Raie also shares one of the reasons why she has been able to embrace her entire sexual self as she’s grown into womanhood. “I have let go of the quest for the perfect body in order to enjoy my sexuality.” Sister Raie used to have a rigid view on how her breasts should lay and how her butt should look. “Young Sister Raie saw her body through the eyes of the lover who was looking at her naked.” she says. “Sister Raie now sees her body as her own. I am just it.”

Ep 9: Kyndra’s God Accepts Her Sexuality (And So Does She)

A clinical social worker and Associate Pastor at First Corinthian Baptist Church (FCBC) in New York City, Kyndra Frazier felt called to ministry while still a child. She was very active in youth activities and felt comfortable sitting in the pews at the Church of God. In this episode, she shares how she spent years doing everything but formally ministering to fellow Christians. When the opportunity to serve presented itself at FCBC, she accepted it with no hesitation. At FCBC, Kyndra has been charged with spearheading and serving as executive director of the church’s free mental wellness clinic, The Hope Center. Equally important, she has shown the LGBTQ community that it is possible to be a disciple of Christ while living in the fullness of your sexuality – even if it that sexuality does not conform to the heteronormative narrative. From the pulpit, she has shared her story of trying to pray her same-sex attraction away and sitting silently as a family member shamed her for being unsuccessful at faking heterosexuality. Kyndra’s message of God-Has-No-Problem-With-Who-You-Are has made the LGBTQ congregants feel accepted and included when they come through the doors of FCBC to worship. A trained theologian with a Masters of Divinity degree from Emory University, Kyndra discusses why many black churches are not ready to move (en masse) to progressive theologies. She believes that not enough church leaders have the courage to preach progressive interpretations of the Bible. Though their training and own critical thinking skills have brought them to new ways of looking at the Bible, fear causes them to continue teaching theology that is accepted as truth. “I find it odd when people say, ‘The Bible says this’ because the Bible doesn’t really say anything. It just reads a certain way,” Kyndra states. It is through her work with FCBC and her forthcoming documentary, A Love Supreme: Black, Queer and Christian in the South, that Kyndra does the noble work of Jesus by reading the Christian holy book as a document that includes all.

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